It’s only natural to want to please the people you love. But being a chronic “people pleaser” can take a big toll on your physical and emotional health—and no matter how good you are at juggling other people’s needs, sooner or later you’re going to get burned out.
If these 10 signs sound a little too familiar, it may be time to stop trying so hard to please other people. Remember, you can only take care of others when you know how to take care of yourself first!
1. Your friends’ and family’s problems become your problems.
Stop and ask yourself: is your friend’s drama really your problem? There’s a big difference between being supportive and taking responsibility for other people’s problems.
2. You wish you could “break up” with certain people.
If you feel like a magnet for ultra-needy people, maybe it actually is you who keeps attracting them. Respect your own boundaries—you’ll feel way better about your life.
3. You feel responsible for making other people (and everyone) happy.
It seriously stresses you out when someone isn’t having fun at a party. But guess what? There’s only one person whose happiness is your responsibility—you!
4. You don’t feel comfortable expressing your true opinions.
“Oh yeah, I totally love your new outfit...“ Except you don’t—and that’s okay! You don’t need to agree with everyone all the time.
5. You always do what other people want you to do.
Be honest. Are you really indecisive, or are you just trying to make other people happy?
6. You feel like you can’t share your true feelings.
Your feelings are valid and important—and chances are, your friends really do care about how you feel.
7. You feel like no one returns the favor.
You go out of your way to do things for your loved ones, yet it feels like no one does the same for you. Why not focus on your own happiness once in a while instead?
8. You feel guilty when you do things just for yourself.
Get a manicure. Eat too much ice cream. Don’t answer the phone for a while—and don’t feel guilty about it! You deserve “you” time.
9. Sometimes you feel totally burned out.
If you feel like you have no energy left for yourself, it’s probably time to make a change.
10. You can’t seem to say no.
This is the biggest sign you’re trying too hard to please other people. Knowing when to say no can be hard for people pleasers, but this is one of life’s most important skills. Respect yourself and your needs, and remember: it’s okay to say no!