3 Ways to Reconnect to Your Kindness

Nicole Koch
3 Ways to Reconnect to Your Kindness

Kindness is an intrinsic quality of our nature. It’s not uncommon for people to say “I have to develop my kindness,” yet it is true that kindness is often veiled by the many inner identifications we rely on as our sense of self.

In this sense, kindness becomes more of an inherent potential that can be rediscovered.

Kindness is not so much “developed,” even though it is about training your mind to respond in a less habituated way, and to stop judging yourself and the people around you. It is more about rediscovering our heart’s natural tendency to be kind and loving.

Kindness Is Inherent in Each Human Being

Within each human being is a seed for kindness, sensitivity, compassion, and genuine warmth.

Each time we choose love over harshness, insensitivity, and judgment, our natural way of being can emerge again and allow us to be more human and less habituated on restricting conditions.

“I want to know, if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.” ~Oriah

It’s not easy to connect with our kindness—it takes a great deal of inner commitment to be open to recognizing how pervasive self-judgment, and judgment of what is happening at the moment, really are.

Here are three ways to help you reconnect to your kindness.

1. Opening Yourself to Pain

In many ways, recognizing your own pain and the pain of another person is returning to your own kindness. While it is true that many times we ignore our inner suffering, it is also a chance to be open and present and explore further what is really going on for us.

2. Recognizing the Universality of the Search for Contentment and Freedom

Connecting to kindness is recognizing how we are interconnected and how each of us yearns for freedom, joy, and living a life that expresses our potential and our true essence.

Each human being searches for inner peace, and as each of us evolve, we need to be accepting and tolerant of each other’s life force expressing a different way of this universal dance.

3. Transforming and Letting Go of Judgment

Kindness is a practice of non-judgment within ourselves and with others. The more we can let go of judgments and expectations of what should happen, the more space we give to the possibilities of each moment, and the more we can surrender to the benevolence and warmth of our heart.

This is really a profound practice to learn to embrace what is, without losing the gratitude for what is given in each precious moment.


Kindness is the soft antidote to the inner critic relentlessly rejecting the fullness of the present moment. It is the refuge in times of falling, of not being able to take the next step, and of not knowing how to be.

Kindness is the possibility of deeply connecting to the available resources within, and to choose unfolding and openness over defensiveness and closing ourselves.