6 Simple Ways To Feel Like Utter Crap

Jamie Silverstein
6 Simple Ways To Feel Like Utter Crap

We all know how to feel good: move, drink water, laugh, love, offer thanks…

But, what about when good is boring? What about the times our drama-infested mind is craving a little action. No worries! I have solution for you. Here are six ways to bum yourself out. (Suffering not included.)

1) Take Everything Personally

Yes you! Not only should things be personal to you, please be in charge of my emotions. And, your bosses emotions. And, that sad girl behind the coffee counter. (That was definitely you!) If you want to suffer more, just assume you are in charge of all suffering.

2) Eat too Much / Little / Neurotically. Repeat

Yo-yo, disordered, joy-free eating is an easy way to feel yucky! Having too good a day? - try six cookies! When our happiness does not count to us, we can always count on food for a little neuro-chemical joyride.

3) Stop Listening

I know you are but what am I? Root into your belief and stop learning already! Your rumination will always be there for you. And, besides, that person who was offering vulnerable insight probably didn't care anyway.

*Bonus- Tell people what to do.

People love this!!!

4) Give Yourself a Timeline

You definitely should have had all this figured out a long time ago. You're are right to offer yourself a little conditional love. Pressure works! Besides, you need to 'have your stuff together' before you can enjoy things. Entrap yourself in a self-imposed dramatic deadline. After all, conditionality has never backfired….

5) Play Victim

This one is *really* fun! Never take responsibility for anything. Ever. Wait for people to 'fix' things for you and buckle down in your misery. After all, you've done nothing wrong. You are an island. Await rescue.

6) Guard Your Heart

Closing your heart is a fast track to feeling alone, scared, and unloved. Jackpot! If you want to feel like crap, never let anyone in. Deny it when people compliment you and say ‘no’ when people desire your company. Talk people out of loving you. Keep your heart quiet in it's box. A safe heart is a happy heart. Right?!

OR, you can eliminate these behaviors and watch what happens... <3