Let's Talk About Sex, Baby...

Nicole Markardt
Let's Talk About Sex, Baby...

Let’s face it: Sex is a hot-button issue! Same- sex marriage, Miley Cyrus, and a reality television show about polyamory are topics that will surely get a room full of people to suddenly come alive. People will get angry and discussions may become heated. This leads to avoidance in creating an open dialogue about sex and expressions of sexuality.

As a society, we are in constant duality regarding sex. Non-traditional expressions of sexuality are extremely difficult for many people to be receptive to. This creates a view of sexuality that either rebel against societal expectations or are overly concerned with meeting those expectations. Both approaches lead to resistance and disallow our true divine sexual nature to come forth. Yoga has helped me to truly embrace my sexuality.

Sex Is Great... If You’re “Hot”

Sexuality can be directly correlated with our relationship with our physical bodies. If we are happy with our physical bodies we then feel more comfortable expressing our sexuality. If we are not comfortable with our physical bodies, we may often create a negative emotional space for sexuality. We may resist our sexuality because of our attachment to physical expectations. Sexual energy, in essence, is not strictly a physical expression but an ethereal one. When we have an orgasm, we are completely surrendering to our higher self and letting go of our physical body for a time. We are releasing tension and stress relieving chemicals by letting go of our minds, creating hormonal balance and allowing ourselves to be in a truly open and feeling space. As we examine our current perspective of sexuality we ask ourselves- are we caught in some sort of internal starvation because we are experiencing our true sexual nature from a place of self-hatred in our physical bodies?

Empowerment vs. Powerlessness

When we commit to a yoga practice or any self-esteem promoting practice, we aren’t simply committing to an exercise regime. We are committing to a practice focused on alignment, breath, and working through unblocking our energy centers, or chakras, to create an unrestricted flow of energy. This helps to create a body image that we enjoy because we love ourselves and want to feel good.

We become expressive in our practice through these energy cleansing postures, as we release limiting beliefs about ourselves, our sexuality, and any guilt or shame that we may be harboring. Practicing mindfulness in breath and conscious movement empowers us. We are no longer continuing on a path of feeling powerless in our unhealthy attachments to negative emotional beliefs about our physical bodies. We are moving, practicing, breathing, and while we feel our physical bodies come alive, we also may begin to feel our spiritual focus and sexuality awaken along with it.

This helps us to come into alignment in healing any damaging ideas that we may carry about sex. And let’s be honest... who doesn’t feel divinely beautiful and sensual in certain yoga postures?

Empowered sexuality is found in expressing this divine energy for a shared experience of oneness, release, emotional ecstasy, and transcendence. Using sex to feel powerful or because we feel it’s the only way in which we feel loved or relevant to our partner is the opposite of empowering. Approaching sex as you might a job where there is one goal and one goal alone in mind is also disempowering. This view and practice of sexuality leave us actually feeling powerless.

Using actions to help improve self-esteem and promote healthy sexuality is a clear benefit of yoga practice. This leads to a snow ball effect of positivity in our lives. Yoga teaches us to really experience the moment, rather than reacting, we learn to respond. We tune into our bodies through our breath in yoga. This helps us to really feel our own bodies during sex, enabling us to tune into the rhythm of our partner. This openness and awareness of our bodies help our sexual expansion and promote true sexual expression from a place of empowerment. Our bodies know before our minds do if we are turned on or off. We become more open to these signals.

Heart opening postures aid in self-love and acceptance, which only serves to help us become more accepting of other forms of sexual expression that may not necessarily resonate with our own. Thyroid stimulating postures help us to release unexpressed truth, and communicate our desires.

Fear-based societal expectations of sexuality can create true discord in our natural desire to express and create our own sexual experiences from a loving space of what we know to feel right for us. Condemning sexuality through judgment and fear only creates rebellion, or damaging repression and unhealthy concern with these imposed expectations.

So, the next time you’re caught in the cross-fire of a sexual debate, whether about same-sex marriage or if Miley was expressing or rebelling… breathe deeply, feel your deep connection with your own sexuality and send that acceptance to others for their own personal growth. Maybe suggest they take a yoga class!

Title photo credit: Peter Hegre