"Orgasm is the involvement of the total body: mind, body, soul, all together…It is like a madness...it is like meditation..." – Osho
Busy Brains Are Not For The Bedroom.
It’s no coincidence that the phrase “mind-blowing” is often associated with sex. To reach mind-blowing sex, you have to engage in “mindful sex.” To have sensational sex, you have to focus on the sensations and not on your unfinished work project or ever-increasing to do list! Mind-blowing sex means that your mind is not working; only your body is reacting.
Yoga is one of the ultimate mind-body experiences. So is great sex. Not only is yoga an amazing stress reliever, but certain postures and pranayama techniques improve flexibility, increase blood flow, and open your heart—all of which are necessary for a passionate sex life.
Increasingly important in each and every yogi’s life is the importance and understanding of practicing mindfulness, living in the present moment—not only on your yoga mat but in daily life.Then taking that into your relationships, you can build intimacy both between and beyond the sheets.
Are You Having ‘Spectator Sex’?
How many times has your mind started to wander during sex with your partner? We live in a world of busy times, which leads to busy minds. We spend much of our time assessing the past or worrying about the future. We are always plugged into emails and social media. Our monkey minds hardly ever have the chance to just be still.
Naturally, this can then seep into our relationships, and into our sex lives. So how do we find a way to step away from partaking in spectator sex and travel into the fabulous world of “mind-blowing” and mindful sex?
According to a recent article in the December2009 issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine, sexually unsatisfied women who practiced the Eastern techniques of mindfulness and yoga reported improvements in levels of arousal and desire, as well as better orgasms.
What is mindfulness?
“Mindfulness is the gentle effort to be continuously present with experience.” Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. Mindfulness involves acceptance, paying attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them.
Mindfulness allows you to be better attuned to what you want and need, and what’s going on for your partner, so you can respond in better ways as a lover.
- Practice it through the day. You can be mindful and totally immerse yourself during almost any activity in life. Eating mindfully can enhance the deliciousness of a meal. You can be mindful while taking a walk, or during time spent with friends. The more practiced you are during daily life, the easier it will be for you to get there during sex.
- Pranayama. Practicing breathing techniques,such as alternate nostril breathing,in your daily lives allows you to find calmness in an instance. If distracting thoughts occur, simply take a deep breath and let them float by without judgment.
- Meditation happens simply when you acknowledge and observe whatever is happening in a relaxed manner. Existing in a relaxed state of mind and body, but still noticing what is happening to and around you are key steps to having good sex.
Twenty minutes a day devoted to mindfulness meditation is perfect. You may want to start with five minutes, gently increasing with time. Set a timer, so you are not distracted by how much time has passed.
How to boost your pleasure by practicing mindful sex
Use the techniques above to introduce mindful sex into your world and watch how they help to take your sexual experiences to incredible new heights!
1. Sensual awareness. - Use your senses to explore the curvature of the body, the softness, the touch, the warmth, and the movements. Look deeply into your partner’s eyes or touch a part of your partner’s body that you find especially appealing. Giving complete attention to wherever your partner’s hands are touching can bring you into the flow of the moment.
2. Let go of expectations. - There is no pressure to be perfect, to perform, or to orgasm. You and your lover, your bodies, and your time together are to be enjoyed. Connect with your body. Immerse yourself in the sensations and let any worries about your body or performance simply melt away.
Trust in yourself, your lover and the experience. Breathe down to the abdomen, giving life force, power,and energy to the sexual regions of the body. Breathe in what you desire and want to receive. Surrender to the explosive release of the orgasm. Sync the rhythm of your breath with your partner's and deepen it together.
3. Build intimacy. - Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Be welcoming. Be open to new experiences. Invite and experience sex that is "out of this world." Explore each other and connect at a different, deeper dimension.
Though they may seem contradictory, the words 'mindful' and 'mind-blowing' actually complement each other when it comes to sex and being truly present in the moment. Want to share your own tips? Let us know below!