I have been practicing yoga for over 30 years. Most of those years were with my mom or my husband at home in the comfort and safety of my basement. I only ventured into the yoga studio in the past 10 years. I had no idea that I was a yoga class clown.
I apologize to all the yoga teachers out there I offended. I certainly was a yoga brat. Karma is a bitch though, and I have now had the pleasure of experiencing yoga class clowns. Here a 10 ways to piss off your yoga teacher. I know I have done at least three of them.
1. Being Late
Show up late to class and make sure you bang on the door loudly and refuse to take the hint. Class started 10 minutes ago. You’re early for the next class, so go have a coffee and come back on time.
2. Claiming an Expired Free Week Pass
Your free week pass expired two weeks ago. Yes, you have to pay for the class. I know all yoga should be free because everything else in the world is free, like gas for your car, groceries, your Lululemon clothing, and your Manduka mat.
3. Talking During Class
Talk to your friend all through class because everyone wants to know your whole life story. Let’s just stop the class so we can all hear about your hot date last night. So awesome.
4. Not Making Room for Others
Refuse to move your mat to make room for others. I know you were here first and this is YOUR spot.
5. Correcting Your Yoga Teacher
Correct the teacher as they are teaching, talk about yourself, and offer suggestions to other students in class.
6. Freestyle in Class
Yep, just do whatever you want. Make sure you show off. I am all for modifications and doing the pose that works best for you, but within reason. Doing arm balances while every else is in Pigeon Pose is just wrong.
7. Trying to Be the Teacher
Yoga teachers, when you take a class, surrender the teacher to become the student. Close your eyes and just enjoy your practice. You are not responsible for this class.
8. Chewing Gum
Chewing, popping, and snapping gum in class? Not cool!
9. Eating Garlic before Class
Make sure you eat something smelly like garlic or curry before you come to class. Strong scents are great when you're practicing deep breathing.
10. Not Caring about Others
Pay attention and be mindful. As much as the practice is your own personal practice, you are not the only one in the room.
Now take heed of these cardinal sins so you can avoid them next time you head to the yoga studio. Let's be considerate to everyone else!