Before we can understand where to look, we must understand what we are looking for.
What is love?
Defining love is a difficult task. When you ask one hundred people what love is, you get one hundred different answers.
This happens for two reasons: first, people often describe the effects of love and not its nature. Furthermore, their descriptions of its effects are based on their personal experience and capacity to articulate it.
Second, the nature of love is infinite. How can you define the infinite? Mathematically it is impossible. This is why people can’t agree on what love is, because they describe the aspect of the infinite that they are relating to.
So if we can’t define love, how do we understand it?
If love is infinite, that means that love is everywhere. Love is never absent in your life.
Saying love is absent is like saying that if your ears are numb from the cold and you can’t feel them, they aren’t there. Your resistance to your true nature—love—makes it seem love is absent, but this is just the illusion of Maya through false identification.
Love begins from acceptance. Whereas judgment lacks understanding, hindering your capacity to be aware of love, when judgment is absent, you create the environment to realize love. Acceptance is the precursor for awareness. Awareness of your true nature is the understanding of infinite love.
Love is the manifestation of the authentic self without resistance.
Instead of talking about what love is capable of, let’s talk about its nature and relationship to you.
You are the creative manifestation of the Creator. You are creativity. Love and creativity are synonymous. What is creativity but the expression of love?
When you say that you made dinner for that special person “with love,” what does that mean? It means that you took your time—you were present. It means you connected your internal experience with what you were doing—self-expression. That is the manifestation of the authentic self—the expression of love.
Your authentic nature is love. Your resistance to your authentic self causes resistance to love, to self-love. Since it is impossible to love someone more than you love yourself, your resistance to accepting the self, the resistance to self-love, impacts all your relationships.
Instead of thinking that you are giving love, you should be thinking in terms of sharing love. Think of the heart as an empty glass sitting on the floor in front of you. Now think of the water in that glass as love: the love you have for yourself.
The judgments you have of yourself through false identification—the lack of self-love, are represented by the empty space in your glass that is not filled with water. This is what you will be searching to find in other people and experiences. This is why relationships have so much conflict, why life is difficult.
We often think about love in terms of projection and reflection.
We project what we give and what we expect; this is love with expectations and demands. Then, the reflection of what we are or aren’t getting, perceived or real, shines the light back on your self-judgments.
Just like we need water to survive, we need love to thrive. The less water you have, the more desperate you will be to find it. Love is the same; the less self-love you have, the greater the desire to find love in your life.
All that you are searching for is what you can't see inside yourself. ~Amarjit Singh
All is within. To find it, be it. Be what you are looking for and you will find it. There is nothing to search. You are not deficient in anything. You are complete.
The idea that you are not whole and need something outside of you to be complete is just a lack of understanding caused by judgment through false identification. What you are looking for is what you are not getting from yourself.
Be what you are looking for and you will tune your vibration into the awareness of what already exists within.
To understand where you have self-judgment, look at the areas of your life that are lacking the expression of your true nature; this is where the light of love is being obscured by you. This is also where the self-expression is not authentic.
What is love but the expression of your natural state? What is your natural state but the creative manifestation of the Creator? Your expression of creativity is love. Do everything with love and honor the Creator's creativity—your authentic self.