We all do it: perform. We are friends, lovers, parents, teachers, students, employees... the list goes on and on. But, who are you on your yoga mat? What if you *just* showed up as you?
Lights! Curtain! Chaturanga?
I was taking a class the other day and my ego kicked in HUGE. Not feeling well, I took an early savasana, which was what I needed. Except, my mind did not let me drop in. My mind went something like this: 'you are a yoga teacher... you need to try... you are insulting this teacher's class... you are ruining the experience for the other students in the room... YOU ARE A YOGA TEACHER!' Somehow, in one pose, I'd managed to ruin not only my class, but the entire class (teacher included)! Um... Really?! My ego needed a savasana or at least a moment to practice being! Still, somehow I'm certain that I am not unique in this...
We do this all the time. Our minds make ourselves the enter of our universe and we lose sight of the fact that we are just a mere part of the communal energy; there are other players too! Then, we suffer. I mean, seriously, who wouldn't!? It is a lot of pressure to be the center of everyone's world, apart from the fact that this me-centrism is never true!
Being Is Advanced
My sweetie's teacher says that "being is advanced". Not handstands, not perfect Sanskrit, just BEING. Being is a willingness to enter a space where the moment is reality outside of mind-judgement-asana. And, as we come into being, we can step beyond our samskara (same actions) to meet any needs with a presence of heart. We are just us-- not our judgments, not our fears.
Still, most of us (myself included!) are not advanced. We are human. So, we practice. And, sometimes we practice comparison-asana. But, sometimes, there is that beautiful moment: You. Now, my practice includes trying to find me. On the mat and off.