Sometimes we try so hard to get ahead in life that we find ourselves fighting with the world; everything becomes a confrontation, like a constant battle. The harder we push the more difficult life becomes. Yet, our ego won’t let us stop fighting.
As our aggressive ways spread, our personal relationships become strained. We feel overwhelmed with frustration as the momentum of our struggles take away life’s joy.
How many tears and screams of frustration must you endure before you realize there is a better way? What is at the foundation of this experience? How do you achieve success without this type of struggle?
There are several reasons for this experience.
Fear of Failure
When we encounter resistance in life we become fearful that we are not adequate to achieve our goal. Self-doubt forces us to either completely withdraw, or become more aggressive to show, to ourselves and others, that we are capable. We chant mantras like, “No one is going to stop me!” and “Nothing will get in my way!”
Where is the peace in your life with this outlook? Do you really think you can instantly change your attitude when you walk through the door at home? This mindset seeps into the rest of your life.
Take the emphasis off of results and place it on self-expression. We base our self-worth on our situation in life: when life goes well, we feel good about ourselves. When we experience difficulties our self-worth diminishes. Self-worth should be independent of your circumstances.
Your experience is just an experience, it isn’t who you are. Self-worth should be focused on the true never changing self.
Fear of the Unknown
The mind doesn’t like uncertainty. Sometimes, when my students are having difficulty holding a posture and are ready to let it go, I tell them 30 more seconds. The students who were just about to let the posture go all of a sudden are now able to hold it for the remaining 30 seconds.
However, if I wouldn’t have told them how much longer they would have let the posture go after only a few seconds. Why does it become easier for them once they know how much longer they have to hold the posture?
Because the mind doesn’t like uncertainty. Uncertainty for most people creates a lot of anxiety and stress. When the mind doesn’t have definitions, boundaries and limits, it begins to create them through fear and self-doubt. This limits your worldview and closes you from all the opportunities that are right in front of you.
The magic of life is not knowing where your path will take you. Don’t let this be the thing that holds you back.
The Wrong Focus
We often put emphasis on the wrong aspect. We become goal-oriented and focused on a particular outcome. This creates more desire and aversion – the two causes of suffering. You desire to get the results to achieve your goal.
The more difficulties you have, the stronger the desire and aversion get. Then you have aversion for all the difficulties.
Commit to the path: walk down the path and enjoy the walk – no matter what obstacles you encounter. Applying your will through ambition is an attachment; it is focusing on a destination, on a predetermined result.
When you dedicate yourself to the path, you commit without desire. You surrender and dedicate yourself to the path without regard to outcome. This is different than striving, or using ambition to focus your will. When you are goal-oriented, you are ambitiously driven. When you dedicate yourself to the path, you are spiritually driven.
The Lack of Connection to Your Intuition
The only actions that are your own are the ones that go against your true nature. All others are the guidance of God. Or as most people call it – intuition.
Intuition is God’s voice guiding you back to him. Most people understand that their intuition is the compass of life. Yet many don’t understand how to access and live by it.
Everything is a vibration. There are coarse vibrations like movement and talking. Then there are subtle vibrations like thoughts. The process of yoga is tuning yourself into the subtle. This is the reason that learning how to be still and quiet the mind is the focus of yoga.
When the body and mind are still, you are able to tune into the subtle vibrations within. ~Amarjit Singh
Imagine walking in a lake and trying to see your feet. It would be very difficult because you are kicking up all the dirt with each step. However, if you stand still and let the dirt settle you will be able to see your feet. This is similar to tuning into that intuitive voice.
Intuition is a subtle vibration that is overshadowed by thought. Thinking is a coarser vibration than intuition. When the mind is thinking you can’t hear the intuitive voice.
To live a harmonious life and become tuned into your inner voice, let go of fear, and dedicate yourself to the path of authentic expression. Your life should not evolve as part of a goal, it should unfold as a form of self-expression. Put the emphasis on communicating with authenticity.
Then become aware of the resistance to this expression. This provides you the opportunity to remove unconscious tendencies, becoming more authentic. Also, this allows you to get rid of false identifications that limit your experience. The more you let go, the more beautiful life becomes.