I cry alot. I eat food out of jars. I asked a yoga class that I was teaching if they wanted to “do me” the other day. (MAJOR Whoops!) And, my relationships, both with myself and others, constantly need work. Simply, I am a very fallible person.
Or, maybe, I am just me (and, that’s not bad).
Perfect Is Not Real: Vulnerability Paradox
You see, I made a deal with myself awhile back that I would give myself permission to be more authentic. I would own my mistakes, and, instead of shaming myself, I would practice forgiveness and compassion. I would figure out a way to lighten my negative self-talk. I would stop being a shit to myself.
This deal has been the hardest undertaking of my life thus far.
Having suffered the ails and illusions of perfectionism for much of my athletic career, I knew I needed to find a different way to inhabit my life. I was looking for a perspective that didn’t make me feel like a fraud or somehow (according to whom?!!) ‘not enough’. I soon realized, I was looking for permission to be vulnerable. Every. Single. Day.
What Is Vulnerability?
But, what is embodied vulnerability? Do I struggle with it because I’m afraid of it or because it’s unfamiliar?
(Or, because vulnerability means I don’t always have my stuff ‘together’...)
Below is my working definition of vulnerability. This is also the heart of my practice.
- Vulnerability means my needs and my humanity are more valuable than my shame / ego
- Vulnerability means I do not have to be perfect to be perfectly myself
- Vulnerability means it’s okay for me to need an extra hug sometimes
- Vulnerability means I’m trusting you (and me) with me
- Vulnerability means I’m willing to share where I’m at… (See Photos)
- Vulnerability is permission to be.
Brene Brown writes: “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” If I want to be connected both to myself and to my life, I need to allow it to happen. I need to be real. I need to be vulnerable. And, I need for that to be okay.
And, so do you… Because, dear friends, it already is.